Bethany's Writing Desk

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"She said it depends upon whether the spirit is still physically in the Fade, or has fully come into this world."

His voice lowers, and he speaks slowly.

"I knew them separately. Justice possessed a corpse first. But I think...there might be reason to believe he still had a connection to the Fade. I remember that lyrium sang to him in a way it didn't to the rest of us. But that's all I have. You have observed this possession longer than I have. Can you think of anything, from any time, that could indicate Justice is still connected to the Fade?"

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Bethany looked at him intently, her hands folded into her lap as she listened carefully. So, the question was whether or not Justice still had any connection to the Fade whatsoever. Interesting.

"Well ... what I saw of Justice was that he only came out when Anders was too, too angry. Except ..." She pressed her lips together, "Except when Marian and the others actually went into the Fade, to save a young half-blooded boy from his own nightmares. He was a Dreamer, so they had to enter the Fade to find him, and convince him to leave. Marian told me that Justice was the only one present there, in the Fade."

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Nathaniel considers this quietly for a moment.

"So Justice dominant in the Fade, Anders in the waking world. It sounds like her description of possession, which...is reversible. If the possession is a willing one. Do you remember the story of Connor Guerrin during the Blight?"

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"Of course. A clearer warning was never told through the apostates. Make deals with demons at the risk of your life -- and the lives of everyone you care about." A lesson that Bethany was going to grimly take to her grave.

Now, she was curious. "...They say the mages of the Kinhold Circle performed a ritual, that allowed a mage to enter the fade -- and destroy the demon. Saving Connor."

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Nathaniel looks straight at Bethany.

"That's right."

And leaves it there, letting her come to it on her own.

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Bethany gnawed on her lip a little, "...and beyond that, Karl. Oh Maker, how could I have forgotten about Karl? Karl was -- well, he was a lover of Anders, apparently. The first time we met him, he said he would only help us with the Deep Road maps if we helped him save Karl from the Circle but ... Karl had been made Tranquil."

She looked over at Nathaniel, her brown eyes brightening. "Except - when Justice came out, Karl woke up, and he said ... it was as if Anders brought a piece of the fade there with him."

Excitement flashed over her face, "Nathaniel! If we knew this ritual, if we could get the lyrium, and the mages, we could save ... certain ... people."

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Nathaniel...has to take a moment. To absorb this story. Not just the bit where it confirms Anders is a prime candidate for this ritual, but the bit where someone made Anders' former lover a Tranquil. That...no, that has to come later. Right now, he has to think about Justice. The gate is finally opening here. Bethany is on board, perhaps able to perform the ritual herself.

"Don't tell anyone. Not even your twin brother, if he ever comes along, not Kaisa, and least of all Anders. If Anders finds out, Justice will find out. Consider...consider Anders a hostage to Justice. Anything Justice learns can be used to punish Anders. And if he knows, he will take Anders far away from us and we will never have this chance."

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She shook her head slightly. "No ... it would not be safe for Carver to know any of this. It's best that we keep this to ourselves." She paled, softly, "Are you serious? Do you truly believe that Justice would hurt Anders? Anders is the one who saved him."

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"He's willing to put Anders' life on the line so he can play at helping," Nathaniel growls softly. "I knew him. He wished to be gentle, but there was a bloodthirst in him. He would gladly have sacrificed himself for others, but I believe he now considers Anders an extension of himself. I've...

He hesitates, and then his voice takes on a different tone. Reminiscent. Bethany doesn't know details about his relationship with his parents, but there is quite a bit that she can guess.

"...heard Anders. Speak of him with fear. He begged me not to rouse Justice's anger, not even in private or if it was justified."

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Bethany exhaled, looking down at her hands as she clasped her fingers together. Then she looked back up at him. "Then ... we had best find a way to save our friend. No matter what it takes, and as quietly as possible, so Justice doesn't hurt him or anyone else."

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"If the ritual requires a mage to enter the Fade to slay the spirit," Nathaniel whispers, "I trust you. So does Anders. I know you will do what must be done to save him, and others."

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"I can do it, Nathaniel... but it's not a matter of me being able to do it." She looked at him solemnly, "We're going to need at least three or four mages we really trust to get me into Anders mind. And a lot of lyrium."

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"He's going to turn himself in to the Wardens." A huff. "I doubt he will remain Detlef for long. Who would agree to help him?"

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She breathed out, deeply, resting her hands on her thighs for a moment.

"Well ... myself. Merrill. Sabriel, if we can convince her. I don't know if Felix or Kaidan would be willing - or powerful enough."

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"The Inquisition has lyrium. I would rather come by it with the consent of its leaders, but if worst came to worst...no. I would rather plan this as if expecting it can be done legally. Save for obtaining consent from Anders, who may never forgive me."

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"Well I suppose that depends on how they are going to take Anders being alive, and part of their Inquisition." Came Bethany's wry reply, as she sighed softly. "Would he truly say no, Nathaniel? Knowing that this spirit is slowly killing him and his reason?"

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"It doesn't matter if he does. Justice won't allow it, no matter what Anders needs. Justice always nagged him about sacrificing his needs for the greater good. Never mind what's good for Anders, who's been through so much."

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Bethany inhaled sharply, before she nodded. "Then we do this, regardless whether or not Anders wants it - or forgives us. Before Justice kills our friend completely."

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"He's so afraid of losing himself entirely." Nathaniel remembers the assurances he had to give. "He cannot consent now, not to anything we do or anything Justice does. The best we can do is restore to him the ability to consent."

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Bethany sighed heavily, because she didn't like the thought of trying this without Anders's permission. Justice, even Anders, might fight her in the Fade. Beyond that ...

"Did your expert give you the ritual we are going to have to use?"

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"No. I couldn't explain why I needed it."

He rubs at the bridge of his nose.

"Tell me about Karl. Why was he made Tranquil?"

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Bethany breathed out deeply, folding her hands together.

"Maybe I can do a little research on my own - since I am studying it, I'll need a mentor, yes?"

Something in her face turned sorrowful, before she looked down at the ground.

"They found Anders's letters to him. Before he could run, they turned him Tranquil."

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A long, horrified pause.

"Just to hurt him? They--"

There's no other reason for them to do that. None. Anders hadn't done a thing beyond be a nuisance, and they'd answered it by turning someone who loved him Tranquil. For no benefit. If they'd wanted to set a trap, they didn't have to bring out the brand. Nathaniel stands, feeling the need to do something, but having nothing to do. He paces a few steps, then back, gestures wordlessly, then rubs his lips.

"I have to...talk to him. No. Fuck." He doesn't curse often, just so it means something for times like this. "Andraste's blood. I..."

The heel of his hand slams into the wall, his face turning red as he bows his head to compose himself.

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"To hurt him, and to trap him."

She sighed heavily, resting her hands together, staring down at them. Then she jumped as Nathaniel's hand slammed into the wall, and she stood up, "Nathaniel, stop that! If Anders wants to talk about it, he'll talk about it. He trusts you, after all. You are his ... well. His best friend, outside of Marian."

She walked over to him, putting a hand on his shoulder gently. "He's been through a great deal. There are reasons behind what happened at the Chantry -- perhaps none that are good enough for hurting so many people - but there are reasons. We just have to be there for him."